This feeling sucks....

I feel like I'm being played & I just don't have the strength to do anything about it. Cause I don't want to mess anything up. Quite frankly, I would rather have things like this than something worse. I always remember the day that Julie, Ms. Fletcher, & I were all on our way to the boys’ basketball game & I was telling Fletcher about my issues. & she said,” You are just a nice girl Pamela.” The reason why I even remembered that is because I feel like I am too nice with people. It’s not good because I let people walk all over me. Now If I was different… It wouldn’t be so good. I swear today was the perfect day for you to come. But you didn’t.  Why? Were you scared? Were you busy doing something else? Like, I feel so stupid right now. You have no idea. I feel like I’m some big joke. Everyone is telling me to just let you go because it seems like you don’t even care. & sometimes I think about just forgetting you & moving on. But I can’t. I honestly can’t. Just look how mad I was yesterday & in a matter of minutes you changed my mood from being super pissed to super excited. Even though I knew that if you actually came it would be boring in my house. But I didn’t even care because just being around you would mean more to me than anything. My hopes were let down. It was so disappointing. & what made it even worse was that you didn’t text me or anything. Major disappointment. In the back of my head I’m thinking,” well maybe you should text him & confront him about everything you know.” But then I remember you’re single. You can do whatever you want. I can’t stop you from anything. I guess I am weak. What do I do now?